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Always and Forever – Part 3

Always and Forever – Part 3

by December 1, 2014 16 comments

“Of course…” and we began to glide on the floor. But as I close my eyes, all I could see was a memory of Nathan and me. A memory where we are dancing together under the stars on the balcony of his room. The way he looks into my eyes, as he holds me in his arms I couldn’t see and couldn’t hear anything. Nothing but him, nothing but our hearts leading in every turn and I feel safe with him. I immediately opened my eyes. How can I think of him when I was with David?
“I love you so much Lindsey. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You are the reason why I woke up every morning with a smile on my face, you are the “because” of my every “why’s”…’ and he pulled out a diamond ring under his pocket and kneeled in front of me, ”Will you marry me?”
***

 

I was walking along the beautiful beach of Rio de Janeiro. I was in a three-week tour in Brazil attending a seminar for the company. Before I left, I accepted David’s proposal. After the tour, David and I were going to prepare everything for our wedding.
The seminar was only two weeks and only in the morning. I spent every afternoon walking in the beach and having a tour on the place. After the seminar, I still have a week to shop for clothes and souvenirs.
It was like a dream come true. I always wanted to be in Rio de Janeiro. Nathan and I used to dream this place. It is where we planned to spend our honeymoon. We even planned to live permanently in Rio de Janeiro.
As I walk along the beach on my third day in Rio, I wondered where Nathan could be. Was he okay? Is he still in New York? Had he married? It was almost four years since we last met each other. He was in the hospital and recovering from the accident on the day we were supposed to be married. His mother told me to go home and rest. On the next day, when I returned to the hospital, he was gone. His parents never even said goodbye or called. And I never saw him again.

But then…I saw somebody standing at a distance. Was my imagination playing a trick on me? He was so familiar. His face, the way he moves, the way his presence gives chill to me… it was Nathan!
“Nate?” I walk fast towards him but suddenly he walks away. He was so fast that I have to half run to be able to catch up.
“Nathan!” I shouted but to no avail. We were on the streets now and there are a lot of people. I couldn’t get my eyes off him for I am afraid I might lose him. Then I bumped to an old lady.
“I’m so sorry. Are you okay?” I helped pick up her things. When I look up, Nathan was nowhere to be found. I tried to look everywhere but I haven’t’ seen him. So I returned to my hotel and lie on my bed. “God, I’m so stupid. What if it wasn’t him?” tears were rolling out of my eyes again. I wiped my tears with the back of my hands and went to the phone. I am about to pick it up when it suddenly rung.
“Hello?”
“Hey Lindsey, it’s David. Are you crying?”
“No, I’m not. Why should I?”
“Lindsey, I know you’re crying. Please stop pretending you’re not and tell me what the problem is.”
“I…I missed you.” I hear a soft laugh across the line. David must have believed me. God, how could I lie to this man?
“I missed you too. I can’t wait to see you. How’s the seminar?”
“It’s okay. I had a lot of fun but I terribly missed you David.”
We talk for several minutes and hung up. I can’t believe I’ve lied to him. He is so kind and thoughtful. He doesn’t deserve someone like me.

That night, I went out of the hotel and ate at the seafood restaurant near the beach. It was a beautiful restaurant. There are a lot of people inside and it was so difficult for me to look for a vacant table. I looked around and later, found a vacant one at the corner. A beautiful woman gave me the menu list.
The restaurant had a superb food just like the others but the only unique thing in this place is that there were performers or a band that entertains their customers. After a singer performs a song, another performer will come on the stage and performs another song. After eating, a lady approached me and handed me the bill. As I browsed my bag for my wallet, the restaurant exploded with applause as a familiar face took the stage.
“Nathan…” I whispered for I was very surprised.
“You know him? He is the most popular singer here in the restaurant. It is not just because he is so appealing and handsome; he has also a very beautiful voice.”
When I didn’t respond, the girl continued.” He was here for almost three years already. According to our boss, he had amnesia. He came from New York and he saw Rio de Janeiro in one of tourist’s papers and he came here hoping to gain his memory. He had remembered someone very important to him but he can’t remember who’s that special someone but he is sure that that person was the key to the missing pieces of his life and heart and he is going to find that person here in Rio. But he isn’t that lucky cause he hadn’t found that person yet.”
Tears were rolling down my face as I handed her the bill.
“Are you okay miss?” the lady asked and I nodded. I immediately went out of the restaurant and went back to the hotel. I cried and cried all night.

Now I know why he had not even called me for almost four years. Why he didn’t even return and explained to me why his family took him away. He had amnesia but I’m still in his heart for he is still waiting for me here. And God, forgive me for I am still in love with him after all this time. But how about David? Can I hurt him this much? Will I be able to leave him and hurt him to be with Nathan?

The following night, I returned to the restaurant. I ate and waited for him. As I expected, he came. He was giving his breath-taking smile as he took the stage. The smile I longed to see, the smile that he cast only for me years ago, and the same smile that makes my heart beat so fast. He sang a beautiful song and I never noticed the tears that were rolling down my face.
After he performed, I followed him outside the restaurant. I saw him bid goodbye to other performers and he started walking…
“Nate?” I called out loud enough for him to hear. He then stopped and turned to face me.
“Yes? Do I know you?” He looked confused and amazed for nobody except the managers and workers in the restaurant knows his name. Everyone knew him to be “magnanimous” or handsome.
“I don’t know if you remember me, but I know you….” He then moved closer to me.
“You know me? You do?” He began to smile at me.
“We… we were friends for so long. Then you met an accident and your parents moved in New York and… and I never saw you again… ‘til now”, tears were rolling down my face as I smile back at him. “And I terribly missed you.”
“I forgot everything… but when I see this place, I know that it will help me remember. And here you are…” he smiled and beckoned me to go to him. I gladly followed and moved to hug him.
“Before anything else,” he released me and looked intently at me, “will you mind if I asked your name?”
“No, I wouldn’t mind. I… I am Lindsey Fernandez.” And that begins the most memorable days of my life.

***

I spent every afternoon with Nathan, strolling the beaches or just hanging out in the restaurant. We became close again. We would laugh and tease each other in the beach. It feels just like before. The only difference is that I don’t hear the words I longed to hear for so many years, ‘I love you Lindz… always and forever’”
Well, how could I expect to hear those words? As what I’ve told him, we were just friends. Sometimes, I feel like I can’t help myself anymore and I really wanted to tell him that I love him. That after all these years, he still holds my heart and that it is him whom I want to spend the rest of my life with but I had no enough courage to do so.
One night, as I am about to sleep, the phone rang. I immediately walk towards the phone, smiling for I thought it was Nathan.

“Yes?”
“Lindsey? It’s David. God I thought something happened to you. I was very worried. I tried to call you every night but no one is answering your phone. Are you okay?”
I was shocked to hear his voice. I had forgotten him for over a week. He’s been trying to reach me every night. I am enjoying every night with Nathan going around while David was so worried about me.
“I… I’m so sorry David. I was just lonely so I’m going around. I… just wanted to enjoy as much as possible while I am here. I’m so sorry.”
“It is okay, at least now I know your fine. Your vacation was almost over. I just have to wait for another four days” I heard a small laugh across the line.” Well, take care of yourself. Don’t roam around too late. Don’t skip meals and enjoy your stay in Rio.” Then he pause a little while,” I love you very much Lindsey. I can’t live without you.”
“I love you so much. You are my life… I don’t know how to live without you…” and the line went dead, “Nathan…” I whispered on the phone and put it back to the cradle.

Tears were rolling down my face, as I lie awake in my bed. Three days and this vacation is over. Three days and I am not sure if I’ll ever see Nathan again. The worst is am I able to leave him? Can I afford to lose him for the rest of my life? I had lost him once and the pain is unbearable. It tears my heart piece by piece until there nothing left for me to feel anything. I lost my life when I lost him.
My family was the only reason why I had not ended my life. I forced myself to recover and I did. Then I met David and I slowly fall in love with him. I love him but not as much as I have loved Nathan. But I have to choose…

 

To be cont’d: Read Part 4 here

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