dRaInEd – Part 1

dRaInEd – Part 1

by October 29, 2013 0 comments

The following story was one a new found friend of mine told me, seeking my advice and opinion(s) about the issue. I’d give her some little advice but I told her that I will get back to her ASAP. Your little advice is worthwhile and I would really appreciate it because my new found friend is in a dilemma and she needs immediate help. The story goes thus:

It all started when I was in the college as an entry level undergraduate in my first semester precisely. I fell in love with this guy who happens to be my first love and my first boyfriend. We showed each other what it means to be in love, my joy knew no bounds because I have gotten within a snap of the finger what other long and die for. After some months of being together, enjoying every bit of our relationship, because we prayed together, read together ate together and did most of all things together, I thought I have found Mr. Right which he truly was. A very romantic guy; A dude who every girl would want to be with;
A guy who other guys would want as a mentor. Everyone around loved our relationship but obviously some people will not concoct to it (my relationship with my first love) based on their judgments and beliefs and my immediate family was the number 1 in the lists of such people. They didn’t like the idea of me having a relationship because they thought I was too young and vibrant to have a relationship then because it could disturb my education and distract me from achieving my career goals, but I was bent on dating my “first love”. His love, affection and the ever perfect smile of his that brings radiance to the word – “I LOVE YOU AND I WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH YOU” was one amongst the rest of my motivation.

After coming back from home from a short vacation with so much pressure in my heart about what has transpired at home between my family and I, concerning my relationship, I was heavily burdened and couldn’t share this with anyone including the subject of the matter i.e. “MY FIRST LOVE”, who I know will bring smiles to my face because talking to him alone makes me happy, there is an aura of happiness I feel any time I am around him and this always make me long for his presence at all times. I couldn’t just share this with him because of the fear of losing him and seeing him in the arms of another woman. Also my immediate family who happen and suppose to be my solace whenever I get disturbed like this, were even the on mounting up the mountain of burden in my heart.

Eventually I summoned courage remembering the truism that says “a problem shared is half solved”. I opened to my cousin who happened to be in the same college with me. She advised me to continue with my relationship. She said “follow your heart and when your parents see your commitment they will have no choice but reckon with you”. This little piece of advice was like a million of dollars to me. It was helpful and it was like the weight of the whole wide world that was in my heart was all gone in a twinkle of an eye. But because my cousin and I were so young and naïve about issues pertaining to love and relationships, she told me that we could use this as a “test” for my first love to really see and confirm if he really loves me and would do the same if he was my shoes and I concurred . Oh Boy! You can say foolish me! Little did I know I was digging the grave of the death of my emotions.

Lo and behold!, on that faithful day after a romantic time as usual I broke the “dreaded “test” news” to him saying “I can no longer continue in this relationship because of this reason…..Blah…..Blah….. (“You should be able to fill in the gaps if you are following my story”. These were the words my new found friend told me when she was narrating the story to me, which I did, and I know the reader of this story too should be able to do so).

“OMG”! “You got to be kidding me!”, I was even thinking he was going to persuade me and go a little extra mile by talking me into reconsidering my decision but the reverse was the case. My first love was just remorseful and his reply goes thus “Well! I can’t force into what your parents don’t want you in, but I think it’s you in this relationship and not your parents but anyway if that’s what you want go ahead!, He didn’t even wait for me to explain and tell him that I was only kidding and pulling his legs, he hugged me and kissed my forehand saying goodbye. I thought it was a temporary one but I didn’t know it was a forever goodbye to date no more. I was mad at his reply and the fact that he didn’t give me time to express myself and but jumped into conclusion. I felt he didn’t love me with all his heart. I decided not to call him back let alone call him after that incidence hoping that he will call me and apologize for behaving that way that night but he didn’t. I called him severally but he keeps avoiding my calls and claims he is too busy to pick his calls, sometimes when we duo are coming in opposite directions, he avoids me and so on.

This continued for 6 weeks or thereabout, the reality dawned on me that my first love was no more. He was gone, all gone and I regretted my action. Why have I said what I said? Oh God! I was only kidding and he took it personal. My frustration knew no bounds when I heard that my first love was engaged! “What?” “So soon” “How come?” why could he have forgotten about me and the love we shared so soon. I still love him and I know he loves me too, we had No sex but when you talk about romance, caress, kisses, hugs, they were not farfetched. He was my first love, my first kisser! Afterwards I saw it vividly; it was all clear that he was in a relationship, an annoying relationship if I might call it with a friend of ours. How can he? I felt the whole world around me was crumbling. One fateful day as I was coming back from the lecture room I saw with my eyes my first love kissing his new girl friend publicly, something he told me can never do. I cried all day long, wishing I could turn back the hand of times and tell him my intentions, How I wish I called him back that night, how I wish I told him I never meant any harm, not even to lose the precious thing in my life. I was so upset and mad at myself, and from that day onward I decided in me to lock the door to my heart and throw it to the ocean of life where it would not be found easily. I ended up with this reality of life that “shit happens”, “I hope for the best and I expect the worst” ideology about life.

Enoy . Read . Be Blessed . Be Social . Share

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